Am I Ready for a Divorce?

Checklists

If you are reading this, you are probably concerned about the strength of your relationship. Several of our clients have felt the same way so we created a checklist of questions that you should ask yourself. Be honest. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers. You should not tally your “score.” Instead, you need to use this to help you find out if you are ready to move forward.

Foundation

  • Did you date for an extended time (e.g. 2 or more years before you were married)?
  • Were you friends before you were intimate?
  • Do you have similar interests?
    • Do you have fun together (laugh, play etc.)?
    • Do you have similar religious beliefs?

Financial Goals

  • Do you fight about money? 
  • Do you know about all of your spouse’s financial accounts? 
  • Does your spouse know about your financial accounts?
  • Are you and your spouse on the same page when it comes to monthly spending?
  • How often do you argue with your spouse about money? 

Intimacy 

  • Are you on the same page in the bedroom?
  • Does your sexual relationship feel like you are fulfilling an obligation?
  • If you are not happy with your sex life, what have you done to change it? 
  • Why have you not tried to fix this issue?

Trust and Respect

  • Do you trust your spouse?
  • Does your spouse trust you?
  • Are you and your spouse open and honest with each other?
  • Do you and your spouse respect each other’s privacy?
  • Do you have respect for each other?
  • Do you accept your spouse as is? Or do you want them to change?
  • Does your spouse accept you as you are? Or does your spouse try to change you? 

Again, this is not to be scored. It should be a guide to help you decide if you are ready to move forward towards an opportunity to be happy again.

If you are unhappy, what have you done to change that? Have you sought therapy? Have you asked your spouse to attend therapy? Why or why not?

 

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